Giving birth

Now I havent had much experience in the natural in giving birth, but from what I’ve been told, I have come to realise that when you are ‘birthing’ a dream or vision in the spirit, there are some intresting parallels to the physical and spiritual process. I may have lost some of you already..which is no problem! Just like with a physical birth, this post will only relate to certain people at certain points of their lives! (spiritually speaking)

“If only they would have told me it would be this hard I would never have started”…those were my words but also words I’ve heard many a woman in labor speak! There is a pain that comes with giving birth that has the power to make you stop and say sorry cant do this I’m going home (those of you who told me you did that during labor shall remain nameless lol). I have found that to be so true in these crucial times, pain comes so strong and impacting…that you feel you just cant go on. Offence, insecurities, violation, rejection..you name it. Many times they are sent at the wrong time just to discourage you from going any further.

I’ve found ‘giving birth’ to be a lonely experience as well, where not many people ‘get’ what I’m going through, or the real pain involved. They dont get why I dont want them to ‘touch me’ but I still need them close by for prayer and support when needed. When you are pregnant there are certain things you can not eat, because they may do damage or harm to your baby, raw eggs being one of them. For me the raw eggs have been the naysayers.. saying things ( not neccessarily direct to me or verbally) like ‘as if SHE could do that’ “SHE’S not called of God.” God has shut that door”, “Look God opened this door”, all ‘innocent’ enough comments it would seem…but being quite honest there have been quite a few people who havent had a clue what they are talking about that I’ve had to be really careful not to take in their raw eggs of advice or comments..or it will literally harm the vision, the dream, the baby!

The people that have been most helpful for are my ‘midwives’ the ones who are helping me give birth to the vision, the ones who have held my hand and shouted PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH at crucial moments! When it’s been hard and I’ve wanted to give up they’ve seen the babies head and said NO!, YOU MUST KEEP GOING..this baby HAS to come! It’s too late to give up now, just keep pushing! They’ve helped administer ‘pain killers’ with kind words, scriptures, prophetic insight and general encouragement..where would I be without them!!

This may seem like a silly post to some but I cant tell you how real this experience of giving birth has been to me of late! Recent opportunities that have been presented to me working in the community have made me see the importance of having the right people in my life at this crucial stage..I need God to send the right midwives to me or there could be a troubled birth and maybe even the death of a baby or a dream!

Anyway hope it makes sense to atleast some of you. Thanks for reading cos if you did this far, i’m trusting there has been something of intrest to you to keep reading!

be blessed readers…and til next time if you are in labor and giving birth to a dream or a vision, keep pushing till that baby comes!

Pray!

Thats the only thing along with God guided and inspired action that I believe can change these kids situation for good! Last night was the first of many monthly prayer meetings made up of a bunch of people who believe and want to see God do more in the street kids lives. I was amazed at how God ’showed up’ and spoke many many things through prophesies and visions. He also through many of the prayers confirmed his vision for the street kids (personal stuff he’s given me) and how we the body of christ can acheive that. It was an exciting meeting! We lifted up some kids by name and just felt God has so much bigger plans than the enemy has to destroy them!!

I was therefore really intrested to be called over by one of the kids today who told me the police had come and taken ALL the others. The 2 who spoke to me ran away when they saw them coming. A guy from another org was able to confirm the police had them, but we are unsure when they will let them go! I have heard many horror stories in the past that the police have beaten them, taken them far out and used their labour then made them walk back and I even remember seeing the bruises on a pregnant Zulma’s body as they had given her ‘two’ hits one for her and one for her unborn child! I don’t take these things as coincidences as we prayed for all the kids last night. I’ve been really praying Gods protection over them..where ever they are!!!

Do your ears hang low?

The title may have insighted some of you to burst into impromtu song..which I’ll be happy to add at the end of the post! (coincidentally where is it from anyone?) For some strange reason I’ve had this funny, no real sense making song in my head over these past few days and I thought about how fun it would be to teach it to some of the kids I know..more on that later.

Today was community day, as always I really enjoy going, learning and mentally planning just how I can be of help and develope ‘ministry’ there. Today was no different, infact the best thing about it was the many different people I met. Here are a few.

Padre-or father in spanish, he is the head of the projects there and I met him for the first time today. He kindly took me for a tour of the area in his truck so I was able to see the real span of the place I was in..it’s HUGE and judging by the population growth rate wont be getting smalller any time soon…there really is LOTS of work to be done. So many families in need. I feel blessed to be a part!

Potential staff?- on the ride out there I sat next to a social work student who I’d met a few weeks before, normally very quiet she interupted me and asked what I was reading..unsure how to say (and how she’d react) to ‘A womans guide to spiritual warfare’! I said a book on prayer..I found out she was also a christian and seeking God for her next move after her studies finish soon. I had a light bulb moment when I told her that the first ‘member of staff’ I’m looking for is a social worker….hold that thought!

Five kids-In the time I was there around 4-5 kids really stuck out to me one of them I over heard talking to a social worker, saying how much he hated his dad. I was a bit shocked at the ‘advice’ this young girl gave him. Of course I totally agree with forgiveness and know that hate is no way to live. But telling a child that they have to just try and ‘understand’ that their dad beats them (and the whole family) and that ’sooner or later’ he’ll realise that he is wrong..is just stupid and is not the teaching I’d give to a child who is being abused.

The 2nd, 3rd and 4th kids that stuck out were simply kids that seemed to be either attention seeking or burdened. One was a 16 yr old carrying a child I thought was hers, but was her younger sister, her eyes looked sad and full of fear. I later found out why… Another was a kid who kept climbing a very dangerous metal structure, seeking attention but seemed to respond well every time I spoke to him and advised him to get down.

The last kid was a little darling who came running up to me and greeted me with a big grin and soft smile, she obviously recognised me, but I honestly couldnt remember her, anyway she was the one who gave me my opportunity to sing my song. She came over to me at one point and started an impromptu song, after she finished she asked me to sing to her, I taught her a few in English, including Do your ears hang low!

You know the amazing thing about these 5 kids, without me knowing I had met 5 kids of the same family..who all happen to be brothers and sisters of the boy who says his dad is beating them!! The story was later confirmed by the staff, by saying that they had, had TERRIBLE problems with him, and he has actually thrown out the oldest two! I dont think it’s a coincidence that these kids all caught my attention today and are stuck in such an awful situation. As always praying that God helps me help them where possible soon!

Oh yeh for those who want to know the song..it goes

Do your ears hang low
Do they woble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you toss them over your shoulder like a regimental soilder
Do you ears, hang, low!

VISION-(repost from last year)

This post came into my mind in recent times while praying for the future for the kids, I thought i’d repost it. In recent times we’ve seen 3 street kids PERISH..die..could it be for lack of vision?..harsh words? but lets face the truth, if you havent got a vision and arent working for a purpose..what Gods word says is true…Where there is no vison the (STREET KIDS) people PERISH….very very scary! please read on….

It’s one of, if not the most important things in life I think and is essential for a ministry to have. Vision. From the 1st day I ever met a street kid I knew this simply was not the plan God had for them, when he placed them in their mothers womb. God says is Jeremiah 29:11 I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Most of these kids are certainly not living in much hope..

I think vision is also essential in life, where do we see ourselves going, where will we be in 1yr,5yr,10yr or 20 yrs? Are we planning or just sitting and waiting for it to happen..or someone else to do it for us? It can be quite a daunting thought which I probably go into a little too much. But there is a truth that gives me great peace..GOD has a vision and a plan! For my life, for my ministry and for my future! Praise him! It’s for us to seek HIM for it. Not bring our own agenda, great ideas, thoughts and feelings, etc, but to really say God what is your plan, for these kids?, for my life?, for my ministry?, what do YOU have in mind?! To some that might seem irresponsible, but to me it brings GREAT relief, that I can ask God if I can get in on his ideas and plans and not simply ask him if he’s willing to get in on mine!

I am actually greatly encouraged by that thought and in recent days God has been confirming his plan and vision for many areas of my life to me. I never saw myself as much of a visionary, or missionary for that matter! But turns out I’m doing both of those right now whether I like it or not!

In proverbs 29:18 its says “Where there is no vision the people perish” YIKES! pretty heavy words and to me personally I take that quite literally to mean, if I dont seek God and fufill his vision for these kids, not only I but they (the people) perish also! That’s some responsability! But again I am encouraged that If I/we stick on the right path with God, he reveals to us each step and how to complete what HE wants us to do (or if you are eagar and have my kind of hunger for vision he might just give u a sneek peek of the next 20 yrs!).

I’ve read 100’s of books and ideas on street kids ministries, do and donts, pros and cons and they have all had their benefits..but ultimately you have to know what GOD is saying to you, and then go and do it! That’s the not so easy part.

Someone said to me when God gives a plan (the what) that’s the easy part, the next bit is the who, the when, the where, and the how part..that can kind of take a bit longer!

So anyway be encouaraged that God has a plan and a vision for your future, all we need to do is seek Him for it and then follow his lead to see it fulfilled!

Till next time…

The Community

Whilst in Colombia on my ‘Working with Children at Risk’ course 18 months ago, I was praying for my return to Bolivia, I had what I believe was a ‘vision’ or picture as some christian circles call it. A very strong image in my mind/imagination. I saw a mountain/ hill country, there was a LONG line of kids going way back and the front kid said to me ‘Rehanna come, we are waiting for you’. I was also told by 2 other people that they had visions of me in a dry arrid land, one described a building close by. On my first visit to the community we stopped to get our next transportation, as I looked accross the road I saw something that made my mind flash back to what one of these people said, I felt like it was the building they described. As I got up the mountain I saw how dry and arrid the ground was and on my last visit I was advised that there are more and more families settling in this community going atleast 1 km back from the hill we climbed (the hill with the line of kids that went far back!)

We’ve had some really good conversations regarding this community and my involvement with them. I’ve seen the families and rooms these families live in, I was heartbroken as I was told about 4 children who were refused from a home because their mother is still alive (but trust me she’s not kicking!) I guess the home didnt want to work with the mother as well. As the social worker introduced me to more and more kids and other recognised me from before I felt something ’strange’ inside of me, the fathers love for them. I said outloud… in a whisper, wow Lord I LOVE these kids..that can only be HIM!

Two girls in the dry arrid land.

I think I now understand the role God wants me to have there, it’s scary and exciting. I’m not ready to share it all right now, but I am so greatful for God opening this door to me. This preventitive side of my ministry. If I had any doubt as to whether I should persevere there I was introduced to one of the girls who is at high risk of becoming a street kid, her name was the same as one of the girls I’ve worked with who lost her child due to her street life. I felt God say “Dont let this ‘one’ have the same fate as the other!

Praying for a better future for her!

Till next time.. i’ll keep you all informed!

I believe in Miracles!

I’ve just come back from a short getaway visiting a friend in La Paz Bolivia. I never knew a simple desire to get away could be so drawn out and stressful. Firstly I should say I believe in miracles of all sorts, that’s why I am here, not accepting the status quo amoung street kids and the poor, I really do believe for change. But there is something special about when God does a personal miracle for me. In a nutshell I was looking for a flight go away, a series of ’strange and wonderful’ events took place all day. My dear mum seeing how upset and stressed I was over the past few weeks events gave me some money to get away (love ya mum). It seemed straight forward but it was the hardest thing ever finding a flight to get on. I couldnt find my card details at one point and was told there were NO flights suitable to my budget..or time frame. I was advised to go to the airport and go on a waiting list..I did..I was told they were TWENTY people over and three people who had already paid were definately not getting on the flight that I wanted, I was told it was IMPOSSIBLE THREE times! BUT, I know impossible is where God works best! I stuck it out and put up with sarcastic smiles and remarks and laughs and stares as I quietly waited and believed the ‘voice’ in my head telling me ‘Nothing is impossible to him who believes’. I approached the desk 3 times and was ‘politely’ laughed at each time, the last time I said well I’ll wait, you never know a miracle might happen..you can imagine the raised eyebrows and eyes in the back of the head! BUT after enduring that for 2 hours I heard the desk staff humbly tell me to come forward..miraculously a few spaces had come up!!! I cant tell you how happy I was, and how humbled the staff were! As I gave in my boarding card I saw 2 of the staff who had laughed at the fact that I was waiting for a miracle. I saw a certain respect they had for me as I handed the card and they greeted me, she spooke with a certain warmness in her voice wishing me a safe flight. I regret not fully explaning WHY I waited for a miracle to take place…but hey I think the look on her face said she got it!
‘

We had a great 'girlie' weekend!

So another ‘weird’ post but maybe you are waiting for a miracle to take place, maybe its personal, maybe its work or ministry based..can I say JUST BELIEVE..because, as I believed I saw my miracle!

Mark 9:23 EVERYTHING is possible to him who believes’

Even through tears-Thank you Lord

Seems like a strange title for the post, but I have a point. Today I got another phone call telling me that another street kid had killed himself, that is two in two weeks. I was shocked, angry, confused and extremly tearful, but through my tears and pain I had a ‘moment’ I cried out to God and said NO MORE. Now I dont claim to have some amazing powers that can be so bold as to proclaim no more death…but God does! As in he says we DO have power THROUGH HIM to declare victory over death and the enemy.

I can’t tell you have heavy I felt today, but I also decided to do something about this seeming ‘power’ and evil satan has HAD over these kids. I decided to spend a day fasting and praying for these kids and other things so we can start to see change and transformation. At the end of the day I went to the bridge to see how the kids were doing, I didnt see many of them. But the ones I did see I prayed for, I laid hands on and declared freedom and liberty..not because of me, but because of CHRIST in me.

At my last ’stop’ I saw a young kid that has been concerning me for over a year, he seems low, depressed and CONSTANTLY high, after recent events I took no chances and jumped down and talked to him, I asked how he felt, through very slurred speech and tears he replied the obvious…sad. I spoke to him about how much God loved him, I laid hands and prayed over him pleading with God to set him free from his situation. As I got up to leave I said I’d see him tomorrow at the funeral, with that he nodded his head slowly and burst into tears. I hugged him and prayed with him again. I took his little head in my hands and said “listen I want you to always remember God loves you and that Jesus loves you, Jesus came to give you life, God has a plan for you, he wants you to leave this bridge, please always remember that” I said, with tears in my eyes. “Death is never a way to escape your problems”. His head hung low again. I continued “all you need to do is look UP to the one who loves you”. I was so touched by his next action, this little darling literally lifted his head up and looked straight to heaven as if agree with what I said. And that’s when the title came out of my mouth THANK YOU LORD. Thank you that this child knows to look to YOU. After all this is their ONLY hope.

I left the bridge a little lighter, hopeful, that one child knows there is a hope a future for him..praying he’ll follow through and leave the bridge like he said he wants to.

I only pray God lifts my head tomorrow at the funeral…well I know he will!

Something’s missing…

I’m aware that anybody can read my blogs, so it sometimes makes me hold back on sharing things that reveal something about me..or atleast what’s on my heart. But today I’m gonna break that mold! Today I met with Juan again and had another great chat (over ice-cream..again). We talked about everything from his past and his life to the the type of animals and height of buildings in England! When it was time to go I could see he still didnt want to go ‘home’ back to his shared room with his work mates and dry atmosphere. And it was just another painful reminder to me about how something is missing, for these kids..but also in my life. Let me explain.

While walking to lunch today a friend and I walked passed a gorgeous house in our neighbourhood that I hadn’t noticed before. It’s wrought Iron bannister work and medditeranean architecture were so ME. I have dreams of owning a home like that! But more than anything I have dreams of having a home like that for my family. As we walked past I saw a sight that made me a tad bit jealous, I saw what looked liked mum, dad, brothers, sisters and possibly cousins and aunties all listening to music, eating and ‘hanging out’ on a sunny afternoon in the garden. Who knows what their family life is really like but to me they looked happy..to me they looked like they had something I want and can even say need. I can’t tell you how much I yearn for that family home to raise my family. Not just my biological one, but one that includes kids God has intrusted me with. A place they can all call home.

I thought today, as I have many times how I would have loved to have invited Juan ‘home’ to a place where he could see a positive family environment and hopefully a place he’d feel comfortable enought to just..BE. How i’d love to have Sundays with the whole extended family in the garden and create an atmosphere where kids can feel loved, wanted, safe and accepted. Alas that time hasnt come just yet, but it’s coming alright..I believe and I think I can feel it in ma bones..(or is that just the biological clock ticking??) I’m so looking forward to this missing thing to be added to my life….

thanks for reading…

not the house..but this would do too!

Helping the poor-I’m going for the village!

There’s a well known quote that goes something like “give a man a fish and he can feed his family, teach him to fish and he can feed a village.” That’s kind of how I feel when it comes to helping the poor and developing communities. When I visited one of the top 10 poorest countries in the world in central asia, I was made aware of how easy it is as a western minded person to just ‘throw’ your money at the poor singing pity pity poor boy, somehow feeling like you’ve acheived something in the process. When in reality…if you are honest all you’ve done is made yourself feel better (for the moment) and taught someone how to keep waiting for handouts in the process. Sound harsh? Well how would you put it? I think many times we try and help the poor in our lack of experience clothed in our ’saviour’ cloak. When really we are just feeding a family when we could potentially be feeding a village. SELAH

I have a policy not to give street kids or street beggers money..sometimes I feel it IS the right thing to do but in general I dont think I am helping someone remain ‘handicap’ by saying yes the best way to get out of your long term problem is to give you a short term ‘fix’. It’s the fish and fishing rod theory. Dont get me wrong it’s not that we dont need money to help the poor quite the contrary, and its not that immediate needs shouldnt be met, but perhaps if we took a bit of time to think about how best to direct those funds and make decisions to make a long term positive impact..there’d be less issues…

SELAH

So when trying to help the poor….i’m going for the village.

Poor communiy in Bolivia

R.I.P Vladimir

Gone but never forgotten, what a smile!

My only reason for writing this in a blog is because it helps me process my grief and deal with the pain, not because I enjoy sharing bad news! Today I got another one of those phone calls you dread. I was told (by my friend Barb*) that a boy I know very well was dead. I heard a few weeks ago that he had been stabbed pretty badly, but that was the last I heard. Only to receive a call today saying he’s gone. It came on a day that doesnt going on my records for ‘high days’ I was still trying to process the fact that another boy had killed another guy..without any motive! As I said to my friend who told me..I just dont know what to say, how to respond. I remember the 1st day I met him, a very charming boy that I seemed to click with straight away. He was intrested in moving his life forward, we spoke lots about it and once decided he was very eager about working in a job Skip had found him. He seemed to be doing so well, and even put himself in a home here for a good few months, but then he just gave up time and time again. He got really skinny and was obviously using more than glue to numb his emotional pain.

I remember everytime he saw me he’d come over and put his arm around me and kinda wink..as if I was his girl! Unusually I let him everytime..what I would do to feel that arm around me again. To see him smiling again and moving on like I really believe he wanted to. I am haunted by his words in the video some street kids made ” In this life there is lots of unhappiness, because our parents have abandoned us, they’ve thrown us out on the streets…I want to cry nothing more…nothing more…

When I saw the kids this evening most had decided not to go to his wake as they were worried about how his parents might see them, that they might blame them for the life they are living..and ultimately ended in their sons death. I hear their point..but God knows that is NOT the way he intended it to be. I’m guessing the funeral is tomorrow, I wont be writing anymore on it. But once again if you believe God has a solution to this distructive life of pain and sorrow these kids lead, pray with me, pray for them and pray that GOD will help these kids change…we really dont need anymore lives lost! Jesus said ” I have come that they may have LIFE and LIFE more abundantly…Jesus really is their only hope peeps..so please pray with me that He will COME and give LIFE more abundantly real soon!

*P.s Barbs thank you so much for caring enough to keep me informed of the goings on of the kids that mean so much to me….even if I am not as involved with them. You dont know how much that means to me!! xx