Saying Goodbye

Last night was HARD and I mean really hard! I always knew it would be, but I never expected some of the ´responses´ I got from some of the kids regarding me leaving! Most of them know I (as well as other gringos) come and go, but when you have developed a relationship over a number of years, that parting becomes harder and harder to do (coincidently I will be back!). Normally I just take myself to the bus terminal and hop on a night bus to whatever town I am flying out of, but this time I was accompanied by a number of friends AND some of my ex-street kids who have become great friends!

Before I talk about that, I also went to say goodbye to some kids who still live on the streets. They, like many others asked me why I had to leave and I gave my usual shake of the head and shrug of the shoulders and big SIGH…and said, I just have things at home to do right now..but I WILL be back! The kids assured me they´d be sending me some letters through a friend and I said a jolly goodbye and see you next year.

That night as I went to buy my dinner I saw a familiar young kid oddly wondering quite some distance from his ´usual´ hang out spot. I had a really intresting conversation with him a few weeks back, he has been very insular and very alone lately, but also shown a great intrest in knowing more about God! So I bought him a drink and we had a little chat about things! He always asked me when I´d be coming back to see him. Yesterday was about the 4th time i´d seen him since being here and I casually ´reminded´ him that I was leaving that night..in a few short hours. I´ll never forget his response. He literally looked at me eyes wide and staring..TODAY? he said to me looking horrified..you are leaving today? He walked away and stood by a wall shaking his head as if in disbelief and disappointment. Then he dropped the tear-jerker. You should have told me atleast one day before you were leaving senorita, I told you, I wanted to throw you a leaving party!! I can´t tell how those words cut through me heart and touched my soul! I apologised profusely and assured him that the other kids would be sending me some cards, and he thankfully perked up and said he´d do the same! His reaction really shocked me, but touched me deeply also!

Then it was time for the ´harder´ goodbyes, from friends and kids I have spent the most time with here, trying to be a blessing, trying to help. I was so touched that my girls asked IF they could come and see me off..OF COURSE was my answer..absolutely! I had already broken down at our family event as I just thought about how much I was going to miss them, so I was prepared for some tears, but not this!

I saw how one of my girls eyes seemed a bit glazed as we waited for my bus to leave and made small talk. I told her I didnt want her to cry and for about 3 mins she obeyed…then without warning..she just threw her arms around me and wept solidly for around 7 mins or so. I could barely hold myself together and literally washed her hair with my tears. Her words touched me deeply and really showed that this trip has not been in vain. “I´m going to miss you so much senorita, Dont leave!” she pleaded. “Thank you for all the help you´ve given us, you´ve been so good to us. please dont forget about us and I´m going to pray every day that you come back soon! I´ve been through so much with you senorita..you´ve been so good to me!” Both girls cried for a good while as I tried to console them…as well as myself! So much so that I nearly missed my bus as it left its stand and I had to run for it! I can still see the anguish on their faces as they waved goodbye and I can still feel the anguish in my heart…they called me seconds later just to repeat how much they´d miss me…the tears flowed again on both ends of the phone! As I say I was really shocked at their reaction to me leaving and count it as a HUGE blessing that these girls feel so touched by my life and gave me great comfort that all I have done is not in vain! The goodbyes continue and I pray for strength to be able to leave here in peace, knowing that i´ll be back…..i´m sure i´ll do some more therapy blogging before I leave so as always….

Till next time blogging pals….

What you are your parents like?

There are times in Bolivia when I am reminded that things here are SO different from back home, and in the ´first world´. For example, as much as we do have homeless people in London, you would never see an 8 or 9 yr old roaming the streets sniffing a glue bottle. Or a mother giving her baby, who lives on the streets with her a sniff of her glue, to stop the baby from crying of hunger! There are norms that just dont take place and norms here that are unfortunately just expected.

I´m sad to say I have never seen so many abandoned and abused children in my life since coming here..(and other countries). I´m not saying that we dont have abandoned and abused children in the UK..we do..and I´ve worked with some of them! But we certainly dont have cases on the scale that I have seen here…nor do we appear to accept it as a cultural norm..as I´ve sadly seen many do here (that includes domestic violence as well..which ultimately adds to the mental abuse of the child in my opinion!)

This post was inspired by a conversation I had a couple of weeks with a street kid. I was asked a question. It´s one I´ve been asked before, but as my work with kids on the streets has decreased somewhat, I almost forgot about the impact it has on me. I was with an older kid as we waited for another ex street kid in a bus station, he most definately a child of the streets and I can only pray her decides to leave one day and make a better life for himself! We were killing our time with small chat and I was happy to see this kid who has shown some violent streaks in the past (due to the consumption of crack cocaine) calmer and rather intrigued about my life in the UK. He asked me a number of questions about my family, then he dropped the familiar question that I always pause to answer as it makes m ´wake up´ and realise what kids here suffer daily, and that many of us have no need to complain!

As we sat making small talk about my life and family he said, and what are you parents like then? Are they good parents or bad parents? I had a number of thoughts run through my head, some personal, so general, and I almost thought what kind of a question is that! But I was really ´touched´ by it also as I thought of the amount of people in the UK who may well answer that question as BAD, simply because they didnt get the latest XBOX or had a bit of discipline in their childhood! I thought of how many of the kids here could really answer that question as BAD…and thinking about the amount that I know alone, was quite upsetting!

I thought about my own ´problems´ and how even I , at times in my life may have turnt around and said BAD..but when I reminded myself who I was talking to, and how so many kids like him are on the streets due to abuse, abandonment, alcoholism and simple poverty my answer wasnt just good..but VERY good!

I´m not sure how this street kid took my answer, and I dont suggest he would never have heard of good parents, but I really hope at the very least one day if he becomes a parent, he´ll model himself after the many good parents in the world (and Bolivia!)

So maybe you are a young child reading this, or a person who may have a few ´issues´ with their parents and how they raised you. In light of the severe consequesces of the actions of many ´bad´ parents I implore you to give thanks for the parents that you have/had. Maybe they didnt do everything right, but how many of you can say that you ended up living on the streets addicted to drugs because of them!? I doubt many…

Well thats enough rambling from me. I just havent forgotten how that question made me reflect and feel and wanted to share it with you!

Till next time blogging pals….

The Streets!

Today been a hell of a day! Mixed with the good, the bad and the very ugly! But hey thats life here! I went to see a couple of my kids today. I was lucky enough to bump into an ex street couple yesterday, who asked me if I could help them buy something called a Garaffa in order to be able to cook in their very simple home! Thanks to the generosity of my friends I was able to say no problem to a relatively expensive need for these kids! Earlier I walked through the dusty streets of Cochabamba fighting through the roadblocks, in order to visit some street children now living in homes and watch a really cool cultural dance show! I had to deal with a pretty complicated couple situation that really breaks my heart to see. It was another reminder of the broken family and its devestation on society! My heart for my ministry is to be a repairer of these broken families and the kids they affect. Sometimes my approach can clash with the work of others because they put lesser priorities on dealing with the problem head on, I’m a get it at the root type of person and not everyone understands that! But I have seen the fruits of my labour so I am happy with the process and results!

Later I had a great catch up with a missonary family and their amazing adoptive kids over ice-cream! I have to say the day ended rather disappointingly! In an attempt to better co-ordinate work here with some of the long term kids I’ve worked with, I was once again reminded of any place of protection these kids need…from the workers! It’s a sad state of affairs but the work we do can very easily be interupted or at worst destroyed by the poorly planned ‘intervetion’ of others and its a sad day when you find yourself praying for children to be protected from the immature and misguided actions of others, but that is the work here! You have to work with all types, quite literally! Anyways thats the end of a day for me! Really looking forward to another big one tomorrow! Until next time blogging pals….

Here´s to you!

I guess at some point i´ll get around to writing my blogs regarding my last few weeks here…as in specific events, but after receiving some emails today I really felt compelled to write a blog of thanks to all of the generous people who have given towards this trip to Bolivia (past and present)! Some of you will know, I started to run out of money very recently and felt the need to share some of the needs I was aware of amoung the kids, with some of my friends and family to see who could help! I have literally felt like a water fountain giving and giving and giving towards various needs I have seen here..even more so than in times gone past! Its always a very humbling thing to do, ask for money, but after 4 years of working here with the poor, there comes a time when meeting the need becomes more important than loosing a little pride!

So I sent the email, and I am very blessed to say people are responding….as they always do! I must say God is very faithful to meet the needs of his children, and thats exactly what they (the people I reach here) are! GOD´s CHILDREN!

But I use the term I very very lightly! Because number one, I believe it is God, through me that is reaching these children in a very physical, emotional and practical way. But secondly its YOU the person/people who send me that are also being the hands and feet of Jesus to the poor people of Bolivia!

Yesterday I felt overwhelmed by the need and I confess I really felt a bit weiry and a little discouraged about a few situations…why? well atleast partly MONEY! Money doesnt make the world go around, but it certainly helps it spin! And there is no doubt that you can do nothing without it! Over the past 7 yrs or so, I have been living what Christians refer to as a life of Faith. That means I havent had a regular permanent income for sometime, and as much as I have worked a bit over that time, a large part of my income as been received ´by faith´ that is I pray and believe God for the money. I could (and have) shared a few testimonies of how God has quite miraculously ´sent´ money to me, and miraculously connected me to people who I hadnt even met who heard about me and felt compelled to give! But also, his provision has come through sharing my needs with others to see if they can/want to help and believe me in this current climate, and understanding that people dont generally want to give for nothing, I count it a miracle and incredibly generous that people do!

So that´s why I say as much as I am here being the practical help to these children I simply can not do that without the money that comes from many of you! So thank you so so much for every penny you have given, give and will give to help the children God has called me to reach! I want you to know that you are literally helping change lives and there is evidence of that in some of the blogs I have written. Children no longer living on the streets, and their children being given a brighter future!

So once again here´s to YOU the person who has generously given to change a life be it $1 or $50 YOU are helping to make a difference in the world! God Bless you for doing that!

Till next time blogging pals…a very grateful ME!

The Journey!

I recently got back from my ´trip´ to the campo (countryside). If ever there were an authentic Bolivia its when you take a trip out to The suburbs to visit where (mostly poor) families live. There you get the real feel of what Bolivia is. The struggling grandmother taking home dried foods for her family to eat, that possibly consist of a few grandchildren she is struggling to look after. Unpaved roads, less sanitary environments (feacal matter thrown out everywhere) no bathrooms, no electricity, cheaper bus fare, sharing your seat with a child, large bag or even chicken…well rarely! Sheep, cows, llama, dogs roaming the streets as often as the humans. Children running in the streets barefoot, possibly with no adult in close proximity as they have to go and work to feed said children! In a nutshell its a site to behold and experience and usually a smell or two to endure also! But it puts you right into the struggle of the everyday people of Bolivia!

I confess at times, the thought of the journey alone has made me delay it a few days! But once you arrive, atleast I, never regret it! Even if I am offered a drink in a glass that been rinsed in less sanitary water, right before my eyes! Even if I am offered food that hasnt always been kept or prepared in conditions that I am used to (I have to say my girls are pretty immaculate!) Even if to use the bathroom means to stoop behind a bush, or aim into a hole in the ground, in a dark room! The journey always feels worth it to me! Because this journey leads you to a place mas alla (much further) than you can ´reach´ simply entertaining people in ´fancy´ venues in town. When you take this journey you show your friend, your child, your family that you do care, and that you are willing to meet them where they are at! I dont think you can put a price on that, and for every family, child or person I have ever visited I have always seen such gratitude on their face and been humbled by the hospitality they have shown me. Knowing that even a glass of coca cola they maybe offer me cost them something and that touches me..let alone when its giving a full (huge) plate of food when they barely have to eat for themselves!

So I encourage you, if you are a worker, who has families in poor places, cities, fields- take the journey! Even though it cost you something, it could mean everything to someone else and bring you much closer to the people you are trying to reach, not only geographically, but emotionally and even spiritually!

Well thats my ramblings for today, hope it gives an inside view of (my) life here!

Till next time blogging pals…..

One at a time…

Starfish parable...it matters to this one...

You know not having my own laptop/Computer has been a real pain as I have to try and spread my time in the internet between catching up, blogging and all types of ´research´ that affect my past, present and future! I have a few things and events I´d like to blog about, but just as I was thinking about getting stuck in, I got a call from one of my girls reminding me that I said I´d come see her and her sister today (not that I forgot) and telling me her siblings also really want to see me before I head back, a dear family I also helped alot in the past. So once again the blogging has been pushed back!

But before I rush off, I wanted to write something, as somethings been rolling around my mind, and resting in my heart alot lately..and thats the affect of one person on another person and how that affect can be quite life changing! I watched a DVD here at a friends house, from my church Hillsong and was reminded of a quote from Helen Keller An American Political (and social) Activist and who also ´happened´ to be deaf AND blind, the quote (which I´ll end with) really resinates with me as its exactly my heart as one single person, who is trying to reach one single person..at a time! As my blog title says ´Helping Street Kids…One at A Time´ Sometimes the need is so overwhelming that I feel like my drop in the ocean means nothing..but in the words of another great women, Mother Teresa the ocean would have less drop without (my drop!) it (paraphrased). So as I end with this quote, before rushing around to do all I can in my short time here and wondering what long term affect it can really have and if what I do really counts..I calm my mind with this quote….

“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.”

Helen Keller

till next time blogging pals..off to do the something that I can!

A visit to the Cemetary..an experience!

[/caption]There are so many things to Blog about lately, I´m just not sure which one to do first! But hey, we´ll go for this one first! Ever since I got here the girls have been asking me to take them to the Cemetary. They always seemed to suggest a Monday, and this week it finally worked out. I´ve seen more funerals than I care to remember here, but I´d never remember where they are buried! As the picture shows, they bury their dead in something called a ´Nicho´. Its like a mini square tomb, built into a wall!

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Thankfully girls who have lived on the streets have GREAT memories! They don´t embalm the dead here either, which is why they bury them (or atleast try to) within a day or two! The burial is usually really quick, and I´m usually crying, which is why I think i´ve never noticed the stench before. But since I spent a good while looking for another grave last week, and since learning that a visit to the cemetary, really was a visit (staying a while) I really got to experience one of the worse smells ever..rotting flesh..complete with really irritating flies!

But I have to say it was an experience I am glad I went through with real Bolivians and I was taught the ´customs´ as it were. We actually had a good 5 people to visit in this particular cemetary and I didnt understand why we needed so many flowers (Í must say the girls (and their partners without reservation funded themselves) But there is a custom..on a Monday to come and change the flower displays..usually 3 o 4..or more and leave a little water for the deceased to ´drink´

I have to say I was really impressed how much attention the girls (and guys) put into the flower displays..even for some they didnt know that well..just as a mark of respect. I also helped make a display for my dear Alvaro and helped decorate his ´nicho´ as my way of saying goodbye…we always took a moment of silence at each grave to honor each person.

arrangement

Helping arrange flowers

Grave of one of the first boys who died

Well a slightly gloomy post, but hope it proved atleast a little intresting in showing you some of the culture here..oh and by the way, they chose monday to go as its called ´Dia de los almitas´ Day of the dear souls..quite sweet I thought!

Alvaros ´Grave´

Look out for a marathon of posts..

till next time blogging pals……

Family Event..(aka my big crazy family holiday)

I may have written a few months back about the inspiration for something I named ´Family Event´. I woke up one morning thinking about an ex street girl /(who coincidently was the most impacted on the trip) and her little family, and how I had seen the need to support her, and other street families in how to raise their kids and function as a ´normal´ family. This idea developed into a full blown family event holiday with 3 ex street girls and their children plus a friend and Bolivian family.

The whole idea was to take the girls and kids away to not only have some down time, but more importantly help to take them to another level in their journey away from the streets and as the saying goes, not only take the kid out of the streets, but the streets out of the kid!

We were away for 3 days and in true Bolivian fashion the departure time was delayed by 2 and a half hours..but apart from that it went smoothly..considering we were a group of 14 including adults and children! Once we arrived it was so nice to see the faces of the girls and their children as they saw the really nice hotel and swimming pool…much appreciated in the sweltering heat of the Bolivian Jungle. Most of them had never been away on a holiday and none of them had been to this part of Bolivia, so it was a real privillege to be the first to take them away.

There wasnt a programme as such..but we took advantage of the down times and meal times to encourage the girls in the step they had taken to turn their lives around and leave the streets. They seemed really touched when the husband of the family who came with us told them that they were brave for leaving the streets and with that same bravado they could now advance further and further. They were also very honest about their life beforehand and the not so distant ´failures´ they had committed..it almost felt like a confession camp!

There was a time we saw a real turning point in one of the girls. Of her own admission, she gets angry very easily and while spending some time with her it was obvious how this really affected her children and as I had felt before, had every risk of creating more children who would escape the home and possibly become street children themselves. It took alot of guts and there was a risk of her rejecting what we said, but I decided the risk was worth it decided to her about the danger of the way she was raising her children. I left her on her own to think…and calm down and was very shocked to hear that she was asking for me to come back to her room and she was ´crying her heart out´ (there was an incident that she had reacted very badly to towards her children). I eventually got back to her room to find her very sorrowful and thankfully talking to the mother of the Bolivian family I had invited to come with us (something I was very happy about). She said how very bad she felt for how she reacted and acknowledged her own frustration with how to raise a child and we were able to talk to her and advise her for around a hour and pray with her for God to help her in her own emotional issues and how to become a better parent. I have never seen her so attentive and repentant and the change was event the next day when she was far more patient and loving towards her children!

Another part of the trip was to build some self esteem in the girls. One of the girls is what we would call in the west a battered women..unfortunately in some of this culture its just seen as normal! There was one point when we sat in the pool relaxing and playing some music. Without sounding over spiritual I felt like the atmosphere suddenly changed as a worship song played that spoke about God extending his hand out in love and included a form of prayer..of crying out to God and surrendering your heart to him. I was really touched to see this battered women (at least attempting) to sing along to the song with more sincerity than I have ever seen in her eyes! I saw a glimmer of understanding that God loved her and hope for the first time..definately something only God could have done!

But apart from the spiritual side of things we also did a girly dressing up night which was so much fun and was amazing to see the girls look at their selves in the mirror in almost disbelief that they could look so beautiful! A far cry from the dirt and ragged clothes they once wore in the streets! In one girls words..she said “is that really me?” she also later said that it was her favourite time of the holiday as she felt like she found the other her!

The Bolivian family who came were also a HUGE blessing and it was a very conscious decision to invite them as I wanted the girls to see what a real (Bolivian) family was , a man who didnt beat his wife and who helped look after his kids. A couple who showed affection and children very secure in the love of their parents. It was incredibly encouraging to see the girls secretly tapping each other to show the others how affectionate the couple were being..or just how..normal they were! A definate connection was made and the girls asked for the number of the mother as they were so touched by her input in their lives and they would like to spend more time with her! I was so encouraged by that as most of you will know my desire is to see Bolivians impacting Bolivians, as they will be the ones who stay behind…not the foreigners and who can impact a Bolivian more than his own people!?

Over all it was a great long weekend and I am so grateful for the opportunity to get to know these girls, and their children alot more. I believe God has begun a work in them that he will be faithful to complete and I am more than happy to be a part of that process! Alot more needs were revealed and I look forward to hopefully brnging someone here who would be comfortable to advice these girls…and others like them on parenting skills..as I feel this is really the only way to stop the generational curse of street kids raising more street kids!

Saying goodbye after 3 days togoether was hard to do and I miss them already..even my personal alarm clock (my Godson Miguel) who personally came to my room every morning to wake me up (just imagine an asending voice alarm clock thats starts as a whisper and developes into a full blown banging on the door Senorita WAKE UP!!!)

I also cant not thank enough every person who gave towards this event, your money has literally had an effect on the prevention of creating more street kids! And personally impacted 14 precious lives!

Please pray that the work started will continue to grow and these precious lives will continue to change!

Until next time blogging pals….

p.s if you were still planning to give to this event, it´s not too late as I had to usea considerbale amount of my own funds to cover costs..so just let me know!

The Call

My day has been absolutely crazy hectic so far, and its not over yet! I got an early morning call from one of my girls asking me to accompany her to a clinic here. She doesn´t really know how to read or write so she wanted my help in showing her where to go. Receiving the call and then going to the clinic brought back lots of (not so pleasant) memories of taking street kids to hospital appointments, normally waiting hours to be seen, but also I see how not only is it a great time to catch up with the children and get some alone time with them to see where they really are, but it also reminded me how one call…or what I describe as ´The Call´ can lead to so many things…for instance today.

Not only did we get some important tests done, but we found out that this girl has high blood pressure..because her blood wasnt ´clotting´ after they took her blood (a sign she is stressed). I was also able to find out how her relationship was really going with her partner, what there was to eat in the house and give a little advice…and help..of how to independantly create wealth for herself. That is such an important point for me. As I said to her the ´gringos´ (foreigners) come and go, but these kids..or young adults need to know how to survice whether we are hear or not. It disturbs me to see gringos creating a real dependancy on them from the children, as if they want them to always depend on them, rather than teaching them SELF survival!

That´s also why I always take the kids I work with to places where they can receive FREE help, rather than spending unrealistic amounts on treatments and analysis that these girls..or kids can never afford. Its a way of showing them their rights! And saying yes there IS help in your own country and as much as the gringas are here to help you, we (well some) want to show you how to support yourself also!

I´m looking forward to working more on this as well as other stuff I´ve seen since coming home to Bolivia…and it´s really motivating me to make my next trip here much soon!

Thanks for reading and till next time blogging pals…

My little Family!

It can be very lonely as a single ´missionary´ here in Bolivia..and I´m sure anywhere! I confess yesterday while comforting myself through a thriller/action movie I was feeling a little sorry for myself and lonely and just feeling like some company. I had already planned to meet with Zulma, Patty and their children today, but I guess I never saw..until later how the same children I came to help have also become a big blessing for me..a family!

Most of you will know of and have been praying for Zulma for many years now. When I told her today that since I met her and heard about her then unborn baby, people have been praying for her and know all about her, she was so shocked and very touched..so thanks for all who do pray for her and please keep doing so! She is such a darling of a girl..as are her cute sons..one of which she asked me to be Godmother to when he was born and she recently asked me to be Godmother of the other as well! She has a real crazy personality (much like me!) and loves her children with all her heart. For instance today when I offered to buy her some sandles, she said well instead of buying them for me, can you buy them for my son as he really needs some! Real mothers heart!

the girls helping me prepare to cook!

She has absolutely come on in leaps ands bounds since I first met her as a 16 yr old girl living on the streets, who was asking me to take her to the docters to see if she was pregnant! She is now a 21 yr old mother of 2 (She looked then..and still does about 12 yrs old!) She tries very hard to do right and is by far the most respectful girl I know here in Bolivia. Today we made soup at her and her sisters house, she´s been asking me to make it for a very long time…infact since 2007ish when I first made it for her and her friends living on the streets! It was a great day just to hang out and spend some quality time with her and the whole family and I made sure to pack the soup with nutritional goods to ensure that they all ate well. I was doubly blessed to see her siblings come to greet me and join us for lunch..they are 8 kids altogether and some may remember the post I wrote a few years ago about helping a family with some groceries and it being a real ´Gods timing´ event! So I was glad to bless their bellies also!

Two of the girls siblings with their little nephew!

Later I had planned to meet another young ex street kid, I wasnt able to stay and watch a movie with them as they asked, but the girls told me they needed to go into town too. As we travelled to the area we needed to catch our(separate) buses, they confessed to me that they just wanted to come with me and would accompany me wherever I was going today! (so sweet) So we headed to La Cancha a big market here and bought a few bits for myself, them and the boys until I was able to meet up with the other young man!

It was on my way home, after they called me again..just to chat I realised, these girls really are like family! I really have genuine love for them and really enjoy spending my time just hanging out with them, being crazy, cooking, chatting, anything! Just like a family!

Buen Provecho!

So today I give thanks for the lives of Zulma and her sister Patty, their siblings and their kids for making me feel less lonely in Bolivia and making my work with them an absolute pleasure!

Thanks for reading and till next time blogging pals…